Sleeping in water (9)

“Let’s go shall we?”

Keito walked back to his home carefully and surely. Shizuka follow behind him without resistance.

When she was little, he would pulled that little hands and ran together in the park. Now he is slowly walking, lightly pulling her fleeting hand that seems to disappear if one touches it.

He held Shizuka’s hands with his left hands and hold an umbrella with his right hand. Keito tilted the umbrella to an angle so that Shizuka won’t get wet. Although hlaf of his own body was soaked by the rain, but that is also pleasant.

Returning home, Keito took Shizuka to his room. In order to dry his wet body once again, he took a bath before dinner. He was worried about taking his eyes off of her, but he can’t go in together.

After he took a bath, she was waiting in his room the whole time.

During dinnertime, Shizuka was stood beside him. There is no way that Keito parents, who have known her since she was child would think they will be in the same room as her. Thinking that made him felt a little ridiculous.

After that he returned to his room and did his homework.

“It has been a while since you have come to my house, Shi-chan.”

While knowing that he won’t get a reply, he can’t help it but to keep talking to her.

“I wonder if my room has changed a lot as well.”

The last time she entered this room was probably in the fifth grade the day before when he said some harsh words towards her. Although the state of the room at that time was already beyond the fog, but the arrangement of the desk and shelves should be different.

Things like smartphone and charger that are on his desk are somethings that he has never thought of when he was a child.

He turned towards the bookshelves.

“Thanks to you, I have more books now Shi-chan. It is still embarrassing though.”

He went to purchase several books that Shizuka reads so he could know more about her while also having the feelings of atonement. Some were publish during Shizuka was alive and some after the accident.

He read it feeling like he understood it, but he is not confident in answering if someone asked him how much he understood the contents. However, thanks to that he became fond of reading.

When Keito was in middle school, Shizuka was reading many complicated books from his perspective. He shouldn’t be feeling ashamed but he can’t help but to compare himself to her.

『You can read as much as you like. If you don’t want. you don’t have to. When you want to read, you just have to read the book that you want to read.』

When he asked himself when she said that, he suddenly recalled Shizuka’s words.

“………You can’t read books anymore huh…….”

Many books have been published even after Shizuka’s death. Shizuka can no longer read them. That made him conscious about dying.

If he darkened his room, he wondered if Shizuka would melt into the darkness and disappeared. He didn’t turn off the lights because of that fear.

Even if he plans to sleep with the lights on, it is hard to do so.

Opening his eyes, Keito took a peek at Shizuka to make sure that she was still at his bedside.

“What do you wish for, Shi-chan? What should I do……….what should I confer so that I could recover your words?”

Obviously there wasn’t an answer. That is an answer that Keito need to find for himself.

Even if he wished not to sleep, it will eventually come for him.

When he wake up the next morning, he was grateful that Shizuka was still in his room.

Shizuka stood faintly under the sunlight.

“Good morning.”

He addressed her as if he was talking to himself and started to changed.

Even if the one standing there is Shizuka’s lost words, it is embarrassing to stand in front of her in just his underpants. He got conscious of her once again even if the girl over there isn’t responding or has a sparse existence. Somehow, he turned his back and changed.

That day marks the end of the rainy season as the summer’s rays shone right away.

He took Shizuka’s lost words to school. It was their secret time which he didn’t tell anyone, not even Takumi.

“You looked happy, Aikawa-kun.”


He played dumb towards Seiko’s questioning while not knowing the reason himself.

Meanwhile, Shizuka is just right beside him.

He wanted her to familiarize with the high school that she had never attended. Naturally, Shizuka’s lost words is just standing there, not feeling anything at all.

Even if he knows that this is self-satisfaction, he wants to do it regardless.

Furthermore as the day passes by, the departure to the place of recollections, which was the day after tomorrow is approaching.

Takumi told him that he would accompanying him. He told Junichi the schedule but Keito haven’t gotten a response. As for Sarasa, he didn’t tell her anything.

For three days, he was living a strange life together with Shizuka. He was spending the same time with her while he was attending school, eating, relaxing in his room, and sleeping.

Only three days. A longs three days. He has never been with together with her this long even when he was younger.

He felt somewhat restless on the first day, but he gradually became lonely.

Shizuka is just there, not responding to Keito’s questions, didn’t laugh at him when he made a mistake, doesn’t act bashful when he was changing.

Keito doesn’t blame her.

Does she really contains her words inside?

It wasn’t just her appearance that Keito has fallen in love with. It was her mentality, heart together with her appearance made the person Takamori Shizuka.

In that case, the one in front of him is a 《sham》. It is just a phenomenon called 《lost words》. In the end an absurd amount of rage sprang out of him, and Keito was disgusted at himself for harboring such feelings.

“Someone once said that tears are the smallest sea in the world. You used to say something similar right, Shi-chan?”

Keito informed Shizuka about what he heard from Misora previously.

“Hey, Shi-chan, are you listening?”

Keito began to talk to Shizuka’s lost words, who is either standing beside him or perhaps isn’t here at all.

Neither the girl beside him nor the supernatural girl didn’t answer him. However, their sorrow only escalated while unable to vaguely express it into words.

“……….Why aren’t you answering?”

Shizuka doesn’t react towards Keito’s soliloquy.

Utaha-san, you said that there are power in words.

But you don’t have the power to express your feelings or the words to do so don’t you?

Is there really a meaning behind《lost words?

The moment he thought so, he impulsively sent a mail to Junichi.

『It doesn’t matter if you don’t come tomorrow. I will be fine on my own. I won’t force you even though I know you hate me.』

What am I doing involving a childhood friend of mine that is on the edge? Am I just being a nuisance? Those were the thoughts that he was driven by.

Just as he was to sent the same content to Takumi, he reconsidered.

Just like before, she was standing right beside him which look seemingly lonely. No, he knows in his heart that is just a reflection of his feelings. Nevertheless, Shizuka looked as if she was shedding tears at that time. Keito walked up to her and lightly wiped the tears that weren’t there.

“I wonder if the tears Shi-chan is shedding connected to the sea.”

He lick her right index finger but it taste nothing.

Just like her invisible tears, he can’t see the sea that was projecting her heart. It is not a good idea for him to temporarily denying her《lost words》.

He simply doesn’t have the strength. He just don’t know how to express those words. Keito realized his incompetence when he has no choice but to rely on the words of his predecessor.

There is no way to retract the mail that he send to Junichi. That being said, as he hesitated to send an revised mail a second time, Keito fell asleep as it is.

Previous | Home | Next